Up above the world so high! Falling in love with an addict is bound to end badly. Look forward, not back - you dodged a huge bullet. Your expectations were completely reasonable. A relationship is supposed to be reciprocal. The relationship you were in was anything but that. So of course you were frustrated.
You were very mature to realize that your needs were not being met, and move on. All too often people see the signs that a relationship is not working out, but because of the intoxication of new love, they go ahead and get married anyway, thinking that things will improve. Well, they never do. Problems usually only get worse. Good for you for making the right choice. Last edited by Pivot Point; at You made the right choice and really dodged a bullet.
The 11 Differences Between Dating A Girl And A Woman | HuffPost
Most people that have ADD or other mental health issues have addiction problems too. Go forward and know you did all you could for her and the relationship and find someone that will appreciate you. I have ADD myself and I feel that you behaved in a perfectly appropriate manner. ADD means she has challenges, not an excuse to do whatever the heck she feels like doing.
There are meds for that, and you never mentioned whether she has taken them or not, but it does help. It doesn't do the whole job--there will still be things, but it would make her life easier and that of anyone else she has to deal with. BTW, while ADD makes it likelier that a person will have addiction problems, it is by no means a given--the only addiction I struggle with is sugar and I'm starting to win the battle.
The 11 Differences Between Dating A Girl And A Woman
I'm only telling you all this so you won't steer clear of those with ADD thinking they'll turn into addicts--it is a manageable condition, but a person has to put in the effort. The title to this caught my eye because I have been stricken with ADD my whole life and never outgrew it.
And we definitely pose challenges to our mates.
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However, just the fact that your girlfriend is messy and has an addictive personality doesn't necessarily mean she's ADD. Was she actually diagnosed with it in adulthood?
Dating Someone With A.D.D.
If so then she should be under the care of a doctor, and I agree with Stepka that she should take meds for it. Addiction to things like drugs and gambling are not one of my issues quite the opposite, in fact. But I can see gambling addiction as a problem for others with ADD for the self-medication. I'm sure that my condition frustrates my husband in ways other than the situation in your relationship.
The man is a saint, I swear. Your lady needs professional help and she needs to stick to it. She was diagnosed as an adult and does have medication but I did not always keep track of when she was taking it. I seem to remember her mentioning that here worst nights gambling were probably because she took her meds which gave her something like tunnel vision.
She would lose track of time and just keep pumping money in the machines. I wanted to be a saint for her, but I just couldn't continue giving emotionally as much as I was without knowing if she was going to ever give back.
Not to mention that now that I was able to put a dollar amount to how much I was continuing to give. The fights were terrible. We both said mean and hurtful things but she actually had me convinced that I was the one with severe issues. I ended up seeing a therapist who after one session told me my problem - I had needs that she was not fulfilling and it was not fair for me to expect her to change to fulfill those needs. We were quite simply not compatible.
Last edited by 98db; at Originally Posted by stepka. ADD means she has challenges, not an excuse to do whatever the heck she feels like doing I don't think this has anything to do with ADD. This has everything to do with an addict.
Addicts love to put play the blame game. The most important thing to remember about an addict: Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Additional giveaways are planned. Detailed information about all U. For those with ADD, a partner who embraces that each person does their own thing will keep the relationship as healthy and happy as possible. Since we have an appreciation for all life has to hold, little things excite us, and being able to deeply please someone with surprise flowers without having to have them flown in from some foreign country is rewarding.
They are down for anything.
You want to go on the hunt to find the best noodles in Chinatown? And if that plan turns into finding the best pizza in all of the west side? So many things, so little time. An ADD partner gives you a refreshingly honest relationship. Active mind, active heart. It simply was because we wanted to at that moment. Just like anyone who can function without 30 mg of Adderall, the ADD are still people with a moral compass.
No long term grudges. Just like any other woman: They ignite the enthusiastic youth in you. All the quirks that make someone up should be embraced in a relationship, because they are what makes that person unique, special, and so darn cute. Potbelly pig enthusiast, and a firm believer on women drinking Jack Daniels over vodka sodas, she constantly dreams of living in Manhattan to be a famous food writer which would hopefully entail more eating than writing.
Skip to main content. People with ADD are one of the most understanding people out there.